In my prior post I focused primarily on the toxic effect of resentment toward God. That kind of resentment has, I suggest, zero effect on manipulating God into changing how He deals with us or our circumstances. He always acts based on His character and purposes [Psa. 113:4; 115:3; 135:5]. Our lives will go much ‘better’ if we align ourselves with His purposes, to the degree He has made them known to us via the scriptures [see Romans 11:36-39].
Accepting the reality of our circumstances, especially those components of our circumstances that are unchangeable, adapting our lives to that reality, and acting responsibly in- the-midst of living that reality, collectively provide a more peaceful lubricant to our daily life. Resentment diminishes when we finally learn to ‘AAA’ our life.
Another triggering source of resentment occurs in our human relationships. Irritants, personal offenses, and hurts inflicted on us by others, find a ready and fertile ground in our hearts from which to spring up in our marriages, parenting role, work environment, family, and neighbor relationships.
Resentment sometimes ‘hides’ in soft personalities. By this I mean that a gentle, soft-spoken person is not necessarily free of resentment. Perhaps such a person so dreads conflict with others that [s]he avoids even bringing up and discussing wounds or hurts received from the mouth or actions or inactions of others. The scriptures advise us to [often] overlook offenses and correspondingly forgive and even love the offender [see I Peter 4:8]. But we are also instructed to admonish and confront one another [Rom 15:14]. Our failure to do the latter has, I believe, profoundly diminished our personal growth in character and Christ-likeness. To continually overlook offenses coming from a spouse, adult child or other family member or colleague, etc., does not really help that other person ‘grow up’ and function more responsibly.
For many if not most of us, when we finish high school or perhaps college, we loosen and drop the ‘burdensome’ back pack of personal growth. Our ‘continuing education’ consists of learning what is necessary for maintaining our job skills, or what is required to know more about a hobby or other interest, but diligent study and training in Christian character is not usually found in our daily life curriculum.
Many years ago I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about a group of former Vietnam veterans living in the Washington D.C. area who had become corporate executives. They all bemoaned the fact that they had become couch potatoes and looked [and weighed] like it. They remembered with only some fondness, the physical disciplines required of them in boot camp, and though they had no desire to return to that, they DID miss the positive physical conditioning that training produced within them. Amazingly, they decided to hire a retired Army drill instructor to ‘whip them back in shape’ once again! Of course, they did not achieve the same level of vigor, strength, and body shape they had twenty-five years earlier, but some degree of enhancement of conditioning was proudly and gratefully obtained. They endured the discipline and [re]training from a paid drill instructor [whom they could fire at any moment] solely because they highly valued the goal-the outcome, to get themselves in better shape.
I suggest we would be far more appreciative of receiving admonishment and correction if we had a character goal we valued. It seems we just don’t seriously value becoming more like Jesus who said on the cross: ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing’ [Luke 23:34]. Failure to forgive others is evidence of a lodged-in-place resentment. As I mentioned in a prior blog post, we cannot love well those we resent AND we cannot ‘forgive well’, or fully, those we resent. One very important application of our own forgiveness from God is our forgiveness of others, the releasing of them from their ‘debt’ to us. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven you’ [Eph 4:32]
Do you, do I, really want to become a clone of the character of Jesus? If so, a loving and kind, yes gentle but determined ‘drill instructor’, the Holy Spirit, is available, who will work with your schedule. 😊
‘Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say’ [Luke 6:46].
CJS
Having been through Basic Military Training and having served as a Reserve Drill Sergeant, I can understand the need for physical and mental discipline. Basic military training teaches us to work as a unit, to forget that we are individuals in the sense of merely serving ourselves. In the military, we mold ourselves into a unit that looks out for our battle buddies while learning to sacrifice our lives if need be, for our fellow soldiers. Accomplishing the assigned mission is our priority, not looking after our own personal interests. Through the Holy Spirit, God also trains us to place the interests and needs of others above our own. Through this process, we grow into servant leaders who inspire others to become more and more like Christ. All of us need accountability. Each one of us needs a “Paul” to mentor us and a “Timothy” to mentor. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”. Proverbs 27:17.
Thank Dan. I was thinking of you when I included that story about the Vietnam vets. I have always remembered that story, thought it’s somewhat humorous, but also quite inspiring. Thanks very much for your comments.
What a gentle, but effective call to ‘discipline’! As usual, you masterfully point out the true challenge & help your reader refocus on our goal/calling.
I’m not sure if its on your study/writing line up, but extremely practical applications of ‘AAA’ might help your earnest readers to dig deeper still……:)
Thank you for the sharpening, keep it coming!!
Aim
Thanks Aim very much for your response and suggestion. I will think more about practical applications I can incorporate.