The Paradox of Praise

My last blog post discussed the issue of the problem we humans have in being possessed of a [typically] quite strong desire for the praise/recognition or approval of other humans. Common sense awareness of this component of our very nature is evident in children who often seek out the approval or praise of parents, teachers or other authority figures. Parents, and teachers often seek to direct the effort of children via the dispensing of praise for achieving the objective set forth by the parent or teacher, or other leader. For a child to receive praise is often an incredible motivation to keep doing whatever was required to obtain the praise. As I mentioned in my previous post, the fear of disapproval or loss of praise is also a powerful form of motivation for many children. Perhaps a more timid child would focus on avoiding condemnation [loss of praise] then focus on obtaining praise. If the “bar” is set to high, some children might give up and lose motivation to try to obtain any praise, believing rightly or wrongly, that they will never measure up to the parent’s standard, or the teacher’s and then just decide to “drop out” of the whole “game” of life.

It is my conviction that this “thirst” for praise from others never really leaves us. I believe it to be a part of our very nature, God-instilled in us, so to speak. I do not find in the scriptures, any condemnation for the thirst itself, but merely the sources to which we may go to seek satisfaction of that thirst. Seeking praise from other humans, especially as we grow into adulthood, and thereafter, can get us into real and even deadly trouble. How many young teenage boys have been injured or even died taking up a “dare” challenge from others?

In Paul’s letter to the church at Rome he says this:

But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God (Romans 2:29. NASB, emphasis added).

Again, Paul does not evidence in this passage that there is anything abnormal or wrong in us as humans having a desire to receive praise, approval, or recognition.  The issue appears to simply be: will we seek to satisfy that thirst primarily from humans or from seeking to please God and obtaining His praise?

IF THERE IS NOTHING WRONG OR EVIL ABOUT OUR MOTIVE OF SEEKING PRAISE THEN WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF THIS THIRST OR DESIRE?

I cannot direct you to a verse that supports my conclusion about this question, but I believe it makes sense to say that the human desire or thirst for praise is GOD GIVEN prior to the Fall, and the Fall only corrupted this natural God given trait about us as humans. I draw this conclusion based upon the Scriptures that we have looked at already.  I find no condemnation for us humans HAVING a desire or thirst for praise or approval, but that seeking it from humans instead of from God will get us into serious trouble.  In other words, it is not the “thirst” that is being condemned in scripture, but rather seeking to satisfy this thirst by drinking from the wrong fountain–from the non-satisfying “water” offered by men versus the soul satisfying water from the mouth of God.  It appears that if one is serious about becoming a bond-servant of Christ then understanding the legitimacy of this inborn thirst, but seeking to wean ourselves off of the praise of men and onto the praise of God, will enable us to avoid many of the traps and derailments that will befall us who are attempting to become serious followers of Jesus.

IF WE ARE NOT TO SEEK OUT OR LIVE FOR THE PRAISE OF OTHERS, THEN DOES THAT MEAN THAT WE SHOULD NOT BE PRAISING ANYONE?

At first glance, this discussion can become rather confusing, but I believe a careful examination of the issues will lead to a clearer conclusion.  Notice that in the last point that I attempted to make regarding the source of this thirst, I mentioned the goal of seeking to “wean ourselves off of the praise of men.” An infant or very young child has a strong, natural, instinctive and God given desire for his/her mother’s milk.  Normally, however, a child grows up and eventually “does away with childish things” [I Cor 13:11], becomes “weaned,” and partakes of more solid food.  We do not say the infant should not have a thirst for milk, in fact we expect it.  But we would be surprised to see a ten year old nursing at his mother’s breast or drinking from an infant bottle.  If, in fact, our desire for praise is God given as I suggest, then the problem is not having the desire but rather how we satisfy it.  In addition, it appears to me that God uses us mere humans as His spokespersons or “agents” to offer praise from Him to others.  Here are several verses from Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians:

Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the traditions, just as I delivered them to you (11:2).

But in giving this instruction, I do not praise you, because you come together not for the better but for the worse (11:17).

What! Do you not have houses in which to eat and drink? Or do you despise the church of God and shame those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you? In this I will not praise you (11:22).

It is evident from these passages in Chapter 11 of I Corinthians that Paul sometimes praised the Corinthian church and sometimes did not.  Why would Paul even offer praise or withhold it if doing so had no impact on their behavior? Clearly, it appears evident in the passage that Paul used his tool of the “power of praise” to influence the behavior of others, in this case the believers at Corinth.

In Romans, 13:3-4 Paul reminds the Roman church that obedience to the governing authority results in two things: [1] avoiding punishment for “evil” or disobedient behavior, and [2] by creating the opportunity of receiving praise from those in authority:

For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same.

Peter issues a similar admonishment:

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right (I Peter 2: 13-14).

The point I wish to make is that both individuals, and particularly those having some measure of authority or influence as well as those associated with institutional authority [ the governing “authority”], have the opportunity and perhaps responsibility to use their position of power, influence, or authority to motivate others via offering wisely chosen words and tokens of commendation. [“Tokens” could include all sorts of things.  The military uses symbols of rank, or medals, or ribbons pinned to the serviceman’s chest.  Athletic contestants who achieve certain levels receive ribbons, or medals, or trophies, etc.]  This opportunity to positively influence others and encourage the pursuit of Christ-likeness in another’s character applies to parents, teachers, coaches, employers, and even peers, etc.  We must realize, however, that words of praise or commendation mean little if the one offering it is NOT RESPECTED OR IS MISTRUSTED BY THE RECIPIENT. Words of commendation or praise coming from a disrespected parent, teacher, coach, or boss, for example, will usually have little or certainly less motivational impact on the student, child, athlete, employee, or peer.  If in some way we are given the opportunity to “represent” God in handing out commendations and words of praise, all the more that we should be seeking to acquire God-like qualities ourselves so that our words of commendation will be well received and have the effect as if God Himself and uttered them to the hearer.

As you ponder this issue of avoiding seeking the praise of other people and focus instead on seeking the approval/praise/ and “well done” from God, can you also look for opportunities to offer praise to others for what you observe in their life, character, initiative and efforts? Can you see the connection between God affirming them, through you? i.e. God is using you to praise them here on earth, via one of his bond-servants, namely you? Can you “purify” your praise to insure that it is not mere flattery, empty of truth, and only manipulative in nature?

Indeed, dealing with praise is a paradox. We are not to to be dominated by seeking praise from other humans, but only God, but we should be ready at any time to offer genuine, discerning praise/affirmation/commendation to others, for indeed I believe that God Himself is using US as His spokespersons to encourage and strengthen others.


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