Learning to “AAA” Your Life

One of the difficulties most of us have growing up and functioning as adult Christ-followers, is how to avoid our emotions from controlling our life decisions, even sometimes the small decisions we must make on a daily basis. We may even assume that increasing in “head” knowledge of the Bible will somehow mysteriously translate into spiritual maturity which we unwittingly think equals emotional maturity. I suggest they are not the same thing. Over the course of over forty years of private law practice and working with families with serious challenges, often facing the harsh realities of raising a special needs child, it became very evident to me that the parents who responded the wisest, were not necessarily those with the most biblical knowledge [some were not even believers in Jesus] but instead were those who were most able to “AAA” their circumstance. By using the acronym AAA I am not referring to the auto insurance company but rather to this: Accept Reality, Adapt Accordingly, and Act Responsibly. The clients of mine who were confronted by a difficult situation, did best if they “triple-A’d” it, i.e. implemented those three A’s. At its core, I suggest that the simplest definition, though not a complete one, of what emotional maturity looks like is evidenced by a person’s ability to implement AAA in his/her life on a daily basis and especially when they are facing a difficult circumstance, or a significant loss [e.g. health, a relationship, job, etc.]

“Survivors” are those who can adapt to a change in their situation/circumstances. Stories of those individuals who were lost in some wilderness trek, for days on end, who were ultimately rescued or simply walked out on their own, were persons who knew how to adapt and “make-do” with limited supplies or simply “lived off the land”. They somehow accepted the fact that they were lost and perhaps not likely to be rescued immediately. Accepting those realities required of them to adapt and do the “responsible” thing.

I suggest that sometimes our own lack-of-reality theology gets in the way of us growing up emotionally. We may unconsciously expect God to always clear the way for us, or make the path for us easier, so that hard ball experiences just don’t befall us, after all, we belong to Him, He loves us and wants us primarily “happy”, we naively assume. But if it is correct to say that God wants us holy, far more so than primarily happy, and that he uses all kinds of difficult circumstances [e.g. the trials of Job] to mold and shape us, then it is no wonder that we are confronted in life with a boatload of challenges and difficulties. Part of “accepting reality” is recognizing how God works in our lives, using difficulties, opposition, loss, disappointment, etc., to help us grow up as well as give opportunity for God to show up in the midst of the challenges and display His power within us. In II Corinthians 12:9-10 Paul explains how he complained to God about his thorn in the flesh [a reality Paul was having difficulty accepting apparently], but after God explained to Paul that He would use Paul’s difficulty and weakness to display His power, Paul became eager for more challenges, recognizing that “when I am weak then I am strong” [via God’s power within him]. That famous quote from Paul, found in chapter four of Philippians [4:13] that “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”, is really all about Paul’s adapting to a difficult circumstance in being imprisoned and somewhat deprived . The context of that verse does not lend itself to being quoted by the coach before a football game or by a student before a exam for which he only partly prepared.

I have come to believe that without maturing emotionally, we can never fully mature spiritually. Our lack of accepting reality and adapting to it, expecting God to always bail us out of difficult circumstances will only delay our growing up, maturing in our walk with God, and hindering us from making a more useful impact for His Kingdom. Perhaps a fuller description of emotional maturity would be evidenced or described as follows:

Emotional maturity is evidenced by my accurately perceiving, accepting, and adapting to the world and life as it really is, including my lot and role in it, while endeavoring to improve my own condition/circumstances and those for whom I am responsible”

I suggest that a working description of spiritual maturity would be something as follows:

Spiritual maturity is evidenced by my increasing knowledge of, understanding of, and submission to God, His will and ways, along with a supreme and zealous love for Him.

As you evaluate your own life, in what ways do you think you are evidencing emotional immaturities? How do you think those immaturities might impact your spiritual maturity? What steps can you begin to take that will enable you to “triple-A” your life? Are you expecting God to remove difficulties in your life that He desires to use to “grow you up” as well as display His power?