In 1981 a best selling book was published entitled ‘Getting to Yes-Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In“. It was apparently designed to equip managers and negotiators to move both sides in a negotiating circumstance to each being able to say ‘yes’ to the outcome while feeling validated, and at least feeling somewhat successful or even victorious with no ‘winners’ or ‘losers’.
In the New Testament there is a parable about two sons told by Jesus to the religious leaders of His day who were challenging His authority [Matt 21:23,28-32] It also is a story about ‘getting to yes’, but it is not a guide to negotiating strategies but rather about what does our ‘yes’ really mean in our relationship with God. He began by asking those same religious leaders : “What do you think?” i.e. what is your own opinion about the obedience of the two sons that I am going to describe to you? “A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, “son, go work today in the vineyard. And he answered, ‘I will not’; but afterward he regretted it and went. The man came to the second son and said the same thing; and he answered, ‘I will sir’; but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly I say to you that the tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him; but the tax collectors and prostitutes did believe him; and you, seeing this, did not even feel remorse afterward so as to believe him.”
Jesus likened the religious leaders to the second son, who voiced obedience to the father’s command but never implemented that obedience, failing to acknowledge their own personal sin, and thereby failing to repent at the preaching of John the Baptizer who was preparing the way for the messiah, Jesus.
For me, this parable is especially sobering, even outside of its Jesus-day context. Am I increasingly getting to “yes” in my response to my heavenly Father’s commands? Are there areas of my life where I have said ‘Yes’ [I will obey] but in reality nothing changed and my ‘obedience’ never materialized? And even like the first son, are there still areas of my life where I said ‘no’ or ‘I will not’ to God but never even regretted it?
Although there was a delay in obedience of the first son, the fact remains that he ultimately did obey the father’s commands. Apparently, the issue in the parable was not the promptness of obedience of the first son, but that ultimately he in fact DID obey his father. Jesus’ question to the Pharisees and religious leaders required a common sense and morally honest answer: it was the first son who in fact obeyed. Obedience is an issue of the heart.: “you hypocrites! rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you:’ this people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far away from Me‘ [Matt 15:7-8, Isa 29:13]. The writer of the letter to the Hebrews says: ‘And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do’ [Heb 4:13]. “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord’, and do not do what I say”? [Luke 6:46]
Regarding actual obedience to God, am I getting to ‘yes’?
Are you?
CJS
As usual, the questions are always sobering to me. They can elicit deeper questions and thoughts. One thought that occurred to me was that there could be a valid cause for repentance in the first scenario where one says yes to God — when we as human beings often have no control of the unconscious part of ourselves, which leads to the unwanted behavior. For instance, I definitely aim at fulfilling my commitment to be more soft spoken to my husband, but I often tend to be a little impatient with him without knowing it! Thank God he doesn’t seem to be sensitive to that.
This is a sobering post! It makes me want to go back and see if I am obeying the Lord in all things! I seem to get so caught up with serving, I forget to check my obedience to what God is asking me to do.. Thank you for including me in your post!