Does our Christian Faith Hinder our Emotional Maturity?

In my last blog post I described Paul’s admonition to no longer be “children in your thinking…but in your thinking be mature” [I Cor 14:20]. One significant evidence of transitioning from childish immaturity into adulthood is our willingness to: [1] Accept reality, [2]Adapt accordingly, and [3] Act responsibly-what I call ‘triple A-ing life’. A breakdown in any one of these three components will hinder, delay and even block our transition into emotionally mature adulthood. ‘Reality’ could be described as those facts that are actually true about our circumstances, ourselves, and the world around us. Reality is what ‘really is’, not what we would like it to be, what we may dream it to be, i.e. not just our wishful thinking. A parent who continually ‘bails out’ a child who is trapped in trouble of their own making or even not of their own making, will likely delay the maturity of the child due to the child developing the mindset that my ‘dad or mom’ will see to it that I am delivered/rescued from the trouble I am in, and this will likely cause a childish and unwholesome retention of dependency by the child on the parent and a delay in the child’s ability or willingness to act responsibly.

Is it possible, that as followers of Christ, we may look to and expect our heavenly Father to usually or even always protect us from certain harsh realities of this earthly life, its sometimes threatening or tragic circumstances, difficulties, loss, suffering, etc.? Do we expect God to always ‘rush in and save the day’? Does our faith see God as the great ‘credit card in the sky’ giving us an unlimited line of credit, expecting our ‘plastic’ God to meet all of our desires for comfort, pleasure and security? If that is our conscious or unconscious view of God, then our growing up into an emotionally mature adult will be seriously hindered and our [naive] faith will be a significant contributor to our immaturity.

There are of course many passages declaring God’s protection and provision for His child[ren]-e.g. Psalm 23, Prov 3: 25-26; Matt 6: 25-34, and a host of others. But there are also other passages making clear that the journey of discipleship as a follower of Jesus can become quite difficult, rigorous, even dangerous, and sometimes our encountering chronic suffering, injustice, and loss-e.g. Luke 9:23-24; Acts 20:22-24, II Timothy 2:3; 3:12, Hebrews 10:32-39. Instead of an immature, naive faith expecting God to always be shielding us, always be providing an abundance, always protecting us from sickness, injury, difficulty, loss, and sorrow or an ‘early’ death, we must accept the reality that God may allow many difficulties to enter our lives to strengthen our ‘faith muscles’ and grow us up to enable us to adapt to life as it really is. That adaptation includes taking action to act responsibly in the face of reality and not withdrawing into a chronic despondent state or one of anger and resentment toward God for His apparent failure to rush in and save the day. Part of the following ‘serenity’ prayer, attributed to theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, in some ways captures this mindset:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference; living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as the path to peace, taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that He will make all things right, if I surrender to His will.“

So, does one’s Christian faith hinder one from ‘growing up’ and learning to accept reality, adapt accordingly and act responsibly? Sometimes. One way of ‘putting away childish things’ is to determine to stop running from the difficulties of life and instead facing them head on, knowing that our God will help us do so. Yes, sometimes, God may deliver, provide, and protect us in marvelous or even miraculous ways, but to expect this of Him as His only available response to our very obvious-to-us ‘needs’, means we are worshipping a credit card God, a plastic God, and not the God who is.

Are there components of your faith that evidence a naivety about God’s ways and your expectations of Him? Would you still call God “good” if He allowed significant suffering, disappointment and loss in your life? Is there some apparently unchangeable circumstance in your life that you are having trouble accepting? And even if you have done so, are you clinging to some heart-hidden resentment toward God because of it? Can you consider believing that God could still be very good, even flawless in His character, and still allow serious affliction, loss and suffering in your life, now, for your good?

“…but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.”- Hebrews 12: 10.

CJS