In my prior blog post I focused on our resentments toward other people, and how resolving those resentments is essential to our fulfilling the second great commandment of ‘loving your neighbor as yourself’ [Matt 22:36-39]. In this post, I attempt to address the difficult subject of loving God when we are carrying resentments against Him. We are commanded in scripture to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength’ [Deut 6:35-36]-in other words with our whole being. Our resentments toward God can certainly get in the way of our fulfilling this first and foremost commandment, and I believe these resentments can be subtle, perhaps ‘buried’ deep within our psyche, having arisen from long ago events, or ongoing hurts for which we have received no deliverance, response, or favorable answer from God.
Resentments can arise from a host of causes but fundamentally I suggest they always arise from an unfulfilled expectation, and in this discussion, an unfulfilled expectation of God. Disappointment is the gap between what was expected and what actually occurred. It is not difficult to expect a lot from the God of the universe, and it is also not difficult to become resentful against Him if He ‘does not come through for us’, i.e., does not fulfill our expectations. Unlike an offense against us by another human, whom we may have opportunity to confront, admonish, appeal, etc. hoping for them to apologize and stop/correct their offensive behavior, we cannot do so with God, at least not with the expectation that He will respond by ‘changing His behavior’ toward us. Unlike people, God is not someone we can manipulate or coerce or shame into doing for us or others, something we desire to occur. [Prov 21:30] Our anger toward Him, our withdrawal of love toward Him, our ‘cold shoulder’ toward Him, even our eventual loss of belief in His existence, is not effective in somehow prompting Him to change how He ‘manages the world’ or how He deals with our life or others for whom we love or have concerns.
The scriptures assert that God is, at the core of His nature, good, holy, just, kind, loving, and knowledgeably concerned for us, even individually. [Luke 6:35-36, Lk 18:19, John 10:11, Psalm 25:8, Jeremiah 9:24, Deuteronomy 32:4, Matthew 10:29-31]. It would seem then, that in order to effectively jettison resentments from our heart against God, so that we may then grow in genuine love for Him, we must correct both our ignorance of His character and ways, [to the degree He has revealed them] as well as our expectations of Him.
REJECTING FORMULAIC THEOLOGY
For most of us, from the time of our earliest childhood, we learn the basic formula of life: good behavior is rewarded and bad behavior is punished. Over time, this ‘formulaic’ principle becomes deeply ingrained within us, to such an extent that we come to believe that is ‘how life ought to work-i.e., evil doers should be punished and stopped, and those who do good should always be rewarded, honored, and blessed.’ This principle even seems to conform with ‘natural law’-i.e., what our conscience even testifies to us: behavior that is true, right, and good should be rewarded and that which does not conform to this principle is bad, evil, warranting condemnation [Romans 1:18,19ff]
There are many biblical statements affirming this principle [e.g., Deuteronomy 30:15-20] reinforcing in the minds of Christ followers, that ‘formulaic’ theology is always valid and applicable to life. The Old Testament story of Job, however, chronicles the increasingly shocking suffering and loss experienced by a righteous man named Job-the loss of his wealth, his children, [all of them died in a wind storm], his health, and finally the support of his spouse and friends. People who speak of the ‘patience of Job’ have not carefully read that book! [see Job 21:4]. Job was outraged against both God’s silence, as well as his friends’ accusations against him- that Job must be sinning somehow, refusing to admit it, since the ‘formula’ of life never changes: “Job, you know the rule, those who live upright lives are blessed like you used to be, and those who do evil are punished, just like you are now experiencing, so fess up Job.” Job attempted to refute their ‘formula,’ testifying as to all the good he had done. Job had every human reason to be deeply resentful towards God-and it appears from the narrative that he was. His angry, even demanding questions of ‘why me’ were never directly answered by God. Although Job’s family and fortunes were ultimately restored to him by God by the end of the story, God’s rather lengthy response to Job’s claim of his having received outrageously unjust treatment, perhaps can be summarized as: ‘Job, I am God, you are not, and I know exactly what I am doing. You can fully trust Me.” God even required of Job that he pray for his accusatory friends: “When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes [Job 42:10]. Job’s final response to God was: ‘I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. You [God] asked, ‘who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I [Job speaking]-and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things too wonderful for me…I take back everything I said, and sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance” [Job 42:2-3,6].
The book of Proverbs contains many statements that appear to affirm ‘formulaic’ theology. After one reads the book of Ecclesiastes, however, also presumably written by Solomon, do we see him more or less saying: ‘well, after further thought, the formula does not always apply to every circumstance.’
Attempting to live by ‘formulaic’ principles, will, it appears to me, ultimately lead to troubling and perplexing questions about life, followed by resentment toward God, cynicism, anger and possibly even abandonment of theistic belief. It is obviously very difficult to love God when one is experiencing that kind of mindset. Living ‘righteously’ in obedience to God, often results in positive life experiences and divine blessings but sometimes it does not, and in fact ‘living righteously’ may result in deadly opposition against us, e.g., the lives of Jesus and the apostles. Abandoning a fixed-in-concrete belief that divine blessings always fall on the just, the obedient, the faithful, will help us move further toward acceptance of the perplexity and enigmas of life, a perspective expressed by ‘the preacher’ in Ecclesiastes.
Developing a rock-solid conviction, based upon the declarations of scripture, that God is good– in His very nature, not ‘merely’ holy, and that He is just, totally loving, and totally wise, is essential, I suggest, to building a foundation of steady growth in love for God. This kind of conviction will help combat the temptation of becoming overcome by resentment at how God appears to ‘run the world,’ and especially how He deals with my own life and the lives of those I care about.
REJECTING SUBSTITUTED JUDGMENT
Underlying our, and perhaps Job’s, expectation of God lies our presumption of ‘substituted judgment’-meaning our judgment and wisdom is the standard of how God should be evaluated. This presumption effectively traps God in a box, i.e. He must act in accordance with our definition of wisdom, justice, fairness, love, etc., rather than His own standard, and His ‘failure’ to do so must mean that He falls short of the standard-our standard, which surely must be the only good and correct one. In reality, this presumption traps us in a box, hindering us from greater understanding of the God who is.
As the apostle Paul said: “For God has imprisoned everyone in disobedience so He could have mercy on everyone. Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand His decisions and His ways! For who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to give Him advice? And who has given Him so much that He needs to pay it back? For everything comes from Him and exists by His power and is intended for His glory. All glory to Him forever! Amen. [Romans 11: 32-36-NIV].
Are you bearing the heavy burden of any unresolved resentments toward God?
CJS
You are most welcome. This is a topic I have, and like most people I suppose, struggled with working through in my own life.
Thank you.